Behind the Scenes

What's going on in your world today?

I mean, REALLY going on?

If you spend much time on social media, you might start believing everybody else has their lives completely together. Beautiful family pictures, wonderful vacations, happy marriages, successful children, exciting careers, and everybody smiling like they don't have a care in the world.

And then there's the rest of us. 😊

Of course, we know better. We know those pictures don't tell the whole story. But sometimes it's hard not to look at everybody else's highlight reel and wonder why our own lives seem to have so many bloopers.

The truth is, what we see on the surface is rarely the complete picture. Most of us have become pretty good at putting on a brave face. We smile, tell everybody we're doing just fine, and go about our business while quietly dealing with things that may be breaking our hearts.

But why do we feel like we have to hide so much of what we're going through?

The Things We Don't Post

I've usually been a pretty open book. I don't post every detail of my life on social media, but most people who know me well have a pretty good idea of what's going on in my world.

And believe me, it's not always sunshine and roses.

I don't have much interest in pretending my life is perfect. It isn't. Never has been. And at this point, I don't imagine that's going to change anytime soon. 😊

Now, don't misunderstand me. There are absolutely things I choose to keep private. Everybody deserves some privacy, and sometimes the stories we're living involve other people whose business isn't ours to share.

But I do think there's something refreshing about realizing that other people struggle too.

Sometimes friends disappoint us. Sometimes the person we married turns out to be a whole lot different from the person we thought we were marrying. And sometimes they're EXACTLY who we thought they were, which can be equally frustrating. 😂 Not in my case, of course. My husband is perfect! LOL.

And sometimes the people who are supposed to love us the most are the very ones who hurt us the deepest.

Sometimes life just gets plain hard.

We carry disappointment, grief, worry, fear, and heartache that nobody else can see. We get up, put on our makeup, fix our hair, go to work, and act like everything is perfectly fine. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, we're barely holding it together.

And I can't help but wonder how many people we pass every day who are doing exactly the same thing.

Why Do We Hide?

I suppose there are lots of reasons we keep our struggles to ourselves.

Sometimes we don't want to burden anybody else. And I can certainly understand that. Goodness knows, there are days when I feel like I've already got a full plate of my own drama without adding somebody else's to it. 😂

Sometimes we're embarrassed. Sometimes we're afraid of being judged. Sometimes we've trusted the wrong people before, and we aren't particularly interested in giving anybody another opportunity to hurt us.

And sometimes, yes, pride gets in the way.

We don't want anybody thinking we've failed, made a bad decision, or don't have everything under control.

But here's something I've learned.

Humility can be incredibly freeing.

There is something almost exhausting about trying to convince the world that you're doing just fine when you're not. And the funny thing is, most people already know you aren't perfect.

Because neither are they.

We're all walking around with our own assortment of struggles, mistakes, regrets, and worries. Some are just a little better at hiding theirs.

But I don't believe God intended for us to carry every burden alone. In fact, Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry one another's burdens.

That means we're supposed to help each other.

And I've been thinking about what that really means.

Sometimes You Need to Be the One Who Receives

I've written quite a bit about serving others, because I genuinely believe one of the greatest blessings in life comes from being able to help somebody else.

Don't you feel good when you've been able to make someone's day a little easier? When you've helped them through a difficult situation, offered encouragement, or simply showed up when they needed somebody?

It gives us a sense of purpose. We feel useful. We feel connected. We feel like we matter.

But here's the other side of that.

Sometimes we have to allow somebody else to be the blessing.

And for some of us, that's a whole lot harder than being the one doing the helping.

We'd rather solve the problem ourselves. We'd rather be the strong one. We'd rather say, "I've got this," even when we're not entirely sure we do.

I used to be that girl. Actually, I got so accustomed to handling everything myself that asking somebody else for help seemed like more trouble than it was worth. By the time I explained what needed to be done, showed them how I wanted it done, and worried about whether it would get done right, I figured I could've just done the darn thing myself. 😊

And honestly, I didn't particularly like doing some of those things either, so why would I want to burden somebody else with them?

So I just kept doing it. For myself. By myself.

The problem is, after a while, doing everything yourself becomes such a habit that you forget there's another option. You become the person everybody depends on, but you don't necessarily know how to depend on anybody else.

And sometimes, without even realizing it, you build a wall around yourself while convincing yourself you're just being independent.

There's a difference between being capable of doing something alone and believing you have to.

That's something I'm still learning.

Because when we refuse to let anybody close enough to see our struggles, we may be missing out on one of the very things God intended to help us through them.

Each other.

I'm not suggesting you need to announce your problems to the entire Facebook universe. Lord knows, we've all seen enough of that.

I'm talking about finding somebody you trust. Somebody who cares about you enough to listen without judging, who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it, and who won't turn your personal struggles into tomorrow's neighborhood news.

And sometimes, you don't even need advice. You just need somebody to listen.

Somebody who will sit with you when you're hurting, offer a shoulder when you need to cry, or remind you that you're not facing everything by yourself.

Maybe it's a friend. Maybe it's a family member. Maybe it's your pastor or a professional counselor.

The important thing is finding someone who can be a safe place to land.

What's Happening Behind the Scenes?

I think about how different our relationships might be if we were a little more willing to be genuine with one another.

What if we didn't always feel the need to have the perfect answer, the perfect marriage, the perfect family, or the perfect life? What if we were a little more willing to admit that sometimes we're struggling?

And what if, instead of judging someone when they do open up, we simply loved them through it?

I believe there's a reason God created us for relationships. We're not meant to navigate every disappointment, heartache, or difficult season entirely on our own.

And maybe one of the greatest gifts we can give another person isn't advice, money, or some grand gesture.

Maybe it's simply being someone they can trust with the truth.

Because life is way too short to spend it pretending everything is wonderful when your heart is hurting.

So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or just plain exhausted by whatever is happening behind the scenes, consider reaching out to someone you trust.

And when someone reaches out to you, remember what a privilege it is that they felt safe enough to let you in.

Sometimes the blessing is being there for someone else. And sometimes the blessing is allowing someone else to be there for you.

Either way, that's how we help each other heal.

And isn't that what loving one another is supposed to look like? 😊